On the Outside Looking In (外国人)

There are two things I want to discus here.  The first would be homosexuality in China.  The second would be the foreigner as a confidant in China.

These two came up yesterday morning when I received a text message from a high school girl I am tutoring in English.  She asked me if we could meet tomorrow instead of this afternoon, that she had some questions about the story I asked her to read, and that she had some news.  When I asked about the news, she told me her friend told my student that she is in love with her.  “She is a lesbian” my student said.  Though the circumstances could be different, I imagine that my student was unaware of her friend's sexual orientation until now.  It is possible her friend did not know about her own sexual orientation until now.  I texted my student back, and advised her that even if she does not feel the same way, her friend may be feeling very scared right now and it would mean a lot if they could remain friends.

Homosexuality is legal in China, but not encouraged.  It is under the table and not considered socially acceptable.  But it is there.  I wonder how out in the open it is.  This week, I asked my conversation students to create three laws for an imaginary city.  Two groups in two separate classes said that gay marriage should be allowed because love and marriage should be open to all people.  One of these groups said gay couples should marry and not be allowed to divorce.  The topic of homosexuality has come up more often in William and Eaaf's classes.  I am sure Eaaf has documented these episodes in much more detail on her blog, so I will just summarize my impression – I believe people our age are curious, but not sure who to talk to.  So they talk to us.

The foreigner in China is defined more so than anything else by being outside.  They are from outside the country.  They are outside of society.  They are outside of social ties, and manners.  This can be a frustrating thing, especially as one becomes more proficient with the language.  Most places in the US accept people as an insider after a relatively short period of time.  The difference between an insider and an outsider is fairly small.  But there is a perk to being an outsider.  You are outside of accepted norms.  People are very comfortable sharing very personal things, such as their feelings on homosexuality, very quickly.  Possibly, it is because some of us with low language skills are rather gossip spreaders.  There are only so many people we could tell even if we wanted to.  Beyond that, I can only speculate.  But I speculate that there is a bit of escapism and bit of a feeling that one can step outside the rules.